perfectionnemoi (perfectionnemoi) wrote in eds_hurt_others,
perfectionnemoi
perfectionnemoi
eds_hurt_others

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starvation

today i felt so disgusting. i saw all these fat-asses at walmart after eating a huge burrito for lunch. i just felt awful. i hate walmart. i never want to eat again.

how can you stuff your face when there are people in the world who are lucky to get one meal a day?


...i guess that's my biggest question...

the next biggest is, "why have i gained 15 lbs in the past four years, yet haven't grown any taller?"
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Hmmm...something about what you said and that picture seems so off to me.
well what do you mean?
I'm not sure yet. I haven't put "my finger on it" yet :)
i mean, i know i've talked to people about it making them feel like they shouldn't waste food and that they should eat and be grateful that they have the chance. but, for me, it just makes me feel bad that i do have the luxury. it makes me want to give it up.
...if that's what you're talking about. i know it does seem weird. it's just something i was thinking about though as i saw all the people who gorge themselves and don't think about how excessive they're being.
But if you're starving yourself it seems kind of off, especially when people don't have food and then you're wasting it and taking it for grandite (sp?)

I mean, I restrict like mad too, so I'm not saying that you're awful or anything :) Just seems weird to post that picture and say what you said. *shrugs* I dunno... nevermind :)
i'm sure i'm taking it for granted like most americans do. but i don't want to. and i don't think i'm wasting food. i eat any food i buy.

i didn't mean to offend anyone with this. it was just upsetting me. but i understand why it seems off.
it's okay :) You didn't really offend me or anything.
why have i gained 15 lbs in the past four years, yet haven't grown any taller?"
How old are you?? Maybe then someone will be better able to answer your question?

Another thing . . . you say you feel disgusted by overweight people eating and children starving all over the world, well how do you think they would feel if they knew that someone was "wanting" to starve themselves. Wasting food not by eating too much of it but by wasting precious nourishment. Just a thought to ponder how many children could you have given nourishment to if you would have given all the food you wasted, either by throwing it away, purging, or even binging and purging (sorry I don't know your ED diagnosis)
As for me I probably could have fed 100s of children for several weeks. Keep in mind that they propbably never ate a ballanced meal in their lifetime, and maybe they would have gotten one meal out it for the day but with this they could have lived off of for several weeks.

I am not saying this to be mean or harsh, or to judge, because I have been there too in the past. Rather I just wanted to offer a different perspective on your thoughts. I hope what I wrote made sense because I exhausted.
i'm 19. i know. i just want to look the way i did then. i know it's silly.

yes, that all makes perfect sense. i would be mortified if a starving child knew i wanted to deny myself food when i had the chance to eat. i do think that most of the food i've wasted, though, has been food that i've eaten. i would rather not buy it in the first place. i tend to eat food rather than let it go bad or throw it away before i can eat it. so that's my problem with myself.
Have you ever heard of Ted Leo? He said something along the lines of, "Some people are dying for a cause, but that don't make it yours."

These people at Wal-Mart eat because they need to and they're able to. I do care about famine in other countries, and I would never disagree that they need the nutrition and food more than we do, but how can you say that and not question yourself?

go to ed_cate, they know what they're talking about.
Sorry, the tag messed up, but ed_ucate is a community.

ed_ucate
you cannot compare poverty and an eating disorder.

Anonymous

October 3 2006, 16:15:57 UTC 10 years ago

I can't believe you are using this picture for your own self indulgence. This woman along with millons of others don't have the choice - they are starving to death. It's not an advert for you symapthy gain. I too have my eating disorders, I have done since I can remember and they are tough but you can't imagine the suffering that is going on here! I think the real message to you should be more along the lines of "thank god you are lucky enough to be born in a country that gives you the choice to eat or not" and if you are so worried about fat-arses then perhaps you should do a bit more research into nutrition - I don't think buritto's feature in the healthy section.
I can't believe you are using this picture for your own self indulgence. This woman along with millions of others don't have the choice - they are starving to death. It's not an advert for you sympathy gain. I too have my eating disorders, I have done since I can remember and they are tough but you can't imagine the suffering that is going on here! I think the real message to you should be more along the lines of "thank god you are lucky enough to be born in a country that gives you the choice to eat or not" and if you are so worried about fat-arses then perhaps you should do a bit more research into nutrition - I don't think buritto's feature in the healthy section.
i reactivated this account just now so that i could delete this entry. however, i can't, so i'm just going to post a comment to you.
every so often i get a comment from someone like you who wants to set me straight. take a look and you'll notice that this entry is a year and a half old. if i could take it back, i would because it's ridiculous and sick. i don't need you to tell me that now. i would suggest that you shouldn't go around posting angry comments to people about something they said over a year ago. i am almost entirely rid of my eating issues, but these kinds of comments do not help me at all. i was SICK. i was crazy. i just want to move away from that, but even after deleting this journal, i still receive the comments in my email. did you notice that the journal was deleted? did it occur to you that maybe it was a sensitive subject now, and that perhaps i deleted the journal because i wanted to leave this bullshit behind?

besides that, i don't think you understand what i was saying anyway... even though i disagree with myself now. i have the ultimate sympathy for this woman, and even now i feel guilty, not for being able to eat, but for living in, and benefiting from, a country that exploits and causes this kind of poverty.
furthermore, your comment is just mean-spirited and rude. the remark about the burrito doesn't even make sense since you don't know what was in my burrito - probably sweet potatoes, broccoli, carrots, and tofu; my usual - and since as i already said in the entry, (even if it had been a bean-and-cheese burrito) i felt like shit about it. you didn't need to reinforce that. you were just taking an weak opportunity to be a jerk.

basically, i'm just asking that people please stop posting to this entry. i am not stupid. i understand how fucked up this entry is. it makes me sad to think that i would have said and felt these things at one point, and i am just trying to get away from it. i don't appreciate being pulled back into it.

i realize that it's probably hard not to want to comment to something this dramatic. if i could delete it, i would in a heartbeat, as i realize it is a pretty inflammatory and upsetting post for others.